All About Me

Luke 18: 9-14

Jesus also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and regarded others with contempt: "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying thus, 'God, I thank you that I am not like other people; thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.' But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, 'God, be merciful to me, a sinner!' I tell you, this man went down to his home justified rather than the other; for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted."

The first time I went to see my spiritual director; I walked into her office and saw on the table a little plaque, which read, "It is all about me". Now, I don't know about you, but I thought, hold on here a minute. What a 90"s thing to say! Somehow I expected more than this kind of thinking from a spiritual director - eventually I came to understand this little phrase in a new way.

I read this gospel parable to several people - the response was very interesting - without any sort of prompting from me nearly everyone remarked that they were glad they were not like the Pharisee! I have to admit, the thought crossed my mind as well. "Boy, am I glad I'm not like that guy!" And as soon as those words were formed in my head, I knew I was like "that guy". And then I began to wonder if it might in fact be "all about me".

Let's look more closely at this story. Who is this man, standing before God? He is praying, Jesus tells us, to himself, trusting in himself and looking down on others. This man believed that he knew what was right - knew what was wrong, knew WHO was wrong - and he could even name those folks who were wrong.      This Pharisee believed he could judge others as he compared them with himself. He was, after all, doing all the right things, all those things he believed were God given laws. In his mind, he made the connection that if he did the law, if he could see that others in his estimation did not do the law, then he must be the good guy.      Judgment, he thought, was his to make, he was close to being godly himself - might even be God or at least able to name sin in others as God would. He might even believe that it is imperative to name the sin of others, to point this out to God - just in case God missed it. God's watch dog in the Temple. In his prayer he asks nothing of God, he does not need God - but God might need him.      In short, the Pharisee believed that if he kept the law he was justified in the eyes of God and had the right to point his finger at others, judgment was his to make. For him, it was all about others.

The tax collector, on the other hand, stands off alone, beating his breast while baring his soul to God - "Have mercy on me a poor sinner". Surely this man, who comes to the temple, who loves God, who begs for mercy, who offers himself to God is not a completely sinful person - even if he is a tax collector.      Is it his act of contrition which God finds favor with? Or is it simply that he offers himself and does not presume to point his finger at others or exalt himself over anyone? We can imagine that if the Tax collector wanted to, he could find someone he believed was a worse kind of human being than himself. Someone he could judge. But he doesn't. His prayer is about coming before God naked and exposed, revealing his very core in an offering to God. It is all about him.

I once knew a Christian couple who wanted very much to follow God's law. They had decided they needed to have an opinion on two important issues - abortion and homosexuality. So they prayed over these issues, they did bible study together and they made a decision - they believed they had found the answer God intended them to have, they decided they knew now how to think about women who have abortions and people who are homosexual. The day after they had finally settled on these issues, the husband received a call from his dearest, closest cousin who told him he was gay. Several days later, the wife's old college roommate called to tearfully tell her she had had an abortion. The wife called to share all of this with me and she said, "We had made our decision, we thought we finally knew how to think about this, what God wanted us to believe and now this. What are we to make of it? I thought we knew, but now....?" They thought it was all about others.

It is a subtle thing, this business of getting right with God. Sometimes we can get so tangled up thinking we need to know and do the law that we forget the greater picture. It was not the Pharisee's job to name the sin of another or to hold himself as better. It is not our job to name the sins of others, it is our job to look to our own sins and love others.      Now this is not to say that when a sin, murder for instance, comes before us that we do not name it and call it for what it is - we do and we must. But it means we have to love our neighbor as ourselves - sin and all. It is really a hard thing to not put ourselves above someone whose crime is heinous or cruel, it is hard not to feel better than a thief or a liar - yet that is exactly what God calls us to do. We are not to live our lives judging the lives of others, patting ourselves on the back because we know how to think about our neighbor's sins.      This is not easy to do. Coming before God in prayer offering ourselves just as we are will be a great challenge. It will mean searching our hearts, plumbing the depths of our souls so that we offer to God in prayer our essential selves. It is difficult to come before God and offer ourselves in honesty, humbly confessing our shortcomings and begging for mercy - it is scary to be that open, that honest, that vulnerable. Yet in that loneliest of moments, when it is just the exposed us praying to God when we will feel the compassion, the forgiveness, the unconditional love of God. We can feel the peace of relief.      So, in the end, that little plaque was quite right - it is all about me, about you, about all of us looking inside ourselves and offering up our fears and weaknesses, our suffering and pain, our accomplishments and our joys to God. And it is in that vulnerable, honest offering of ourselves that we will be able, by the grace of God, to really love our neighbor as ourselves.

Almighty and gracious God,
We stand before you naked and vulnerable.
Hear our prayers, guide our hearts, so that
our faith which seeks to understand you might be
strengthened, so that we might better love one another
and so that we might know your peace
which passes all our understanding.
"O Lord of hosts, happy are they who put their
trust in you." Amen
Ps 84:12